Lowtax and the whole Something Awful site has been a daily stop for MANY people since the doors opened. Then along comes this funny little article about a guy named JEFFK!!! If your like me, you laughed your ass off at how incredibly ass backward or just plain dumb JEFFK!!! was.

Well, being mainly an interview site myself, I was fairly impressed with the fact that JEFFK!!! landed an interview with CliffyB. I thought to myself, "How the hell did that little bastard get a CliffyB interview before me??". . . . . . So, I thought I'd check out the interview myself and see what this JEFFK!!! could do with a big name interview like CliffB... 

HELLO FAGOT!!!

HOLY SHIT. . . he did not just call CliffyB a fag. He then proceeded to conduct the funniest interview I have ever read. I mean flat out, gutbustin' laughing outloud funniest shit I had ever seen. I've seen car doors that haven't been slammed that hard.

And then it hit me. . . I gotta interview that guy. Easier said than done, apparently JEFFK!!! is a very private person. I contacted him for an interview and he responded with this:

Heh, as you can see. . . we hit it off very well. 

So without further delay. . here is my interview with JEFFK!!! in it's entirety, you've been warned :^)

1.) Why did you get started in the WebMastering Game??

ID DONT KNOW WHATS i run teh "MY HOEMPAEG not webmastaring (sounds liek soemthing stuped)" i dont do any web mastaring.  I got started when I was palatying QUAEK 2 and was on "DETH R0CKZ" servar and says "IT IJWINFS BY 9999 FRAGS!@" so I writes "OKEY< MAEYBE I MAEK ONE MYSELF"

PLAYER:  FINE!

ME:  FIN!

sos i maed a webpaege on tahi teh siet and says "<MY KEWL SIET" for hax0rs and shizstagg soi I says, "OKEY, I MAEKS IT NOW TOO SELL TO STOMPED!" becuase REdwood's nuts or/ crazey man I thinks but now i DONt awant too sell mys siet becuase I am on UGO (PS:  IM NOT RELLY ON UGO IM ON SOMEWHERES ELSE I DONT KNOW WHER)

2.) Does CliffyB actually like it when you call him a FAGOT???

CLIFFRY B LIEKS WHATEVAR I TELLS HIM TOO LIKE

3.) People you actually like in the industry. . . are there any??

johm carmacke = smarty magic gaem wizzard prograaming man

HE MADE QUAEK 1 AND QUAKE 3 AND MAEYBE WQUAKE 2. 

john romeo.  he has pritty hair like a pony.  he si marryed to Killcrick.,  she maeks maps and worked on Daykiatana.  RUMOR HAS IT A LITTAL BIT OF MAGIC WEN T INTO DAEKIATANA, SO DONT MAEK FUN OF IT

4.) What's the deal with you calling me HyparNerdia??

shut up

5.) People ask me this all the time, so now I am asking you. . . . How in the HELL do you get such good interviews, besides my interviews. . yours are the best.

im a poeple person STUPID

6.) Tips you can give people trying not to be fagots.

DONT READ THIS SIET

7.) Drink of Choice

     tang

8.) Tunes of Choice

huh>>>

9.) Why is AOL so cool and everything else not?? I heard AOL was like, the devil. . . .

if yuo try AOL maeybe yuoll be pleasently suprised TRY IT YUORSELF CLOWN BOAT

10.)People make fun of my site and say it looks like ASS, what tips can you give me to help it look better??

maek evarything black so nobodey can reads it!!!!!!!

11.)  The awesome artwork you display on your site, and the cartoons, are those really yours. . . or the work of a professional. Can you give us some advice on making our own artwork like yours??

shut up

12.) Whats up with this e-mail you sent me???

HEY WHY DOENT YUO SHUT UP ANDD LEAV MY ALOEN???

I SAYS I DONT WANTS EMALE SENT TOO ME BNUT YUO KEEPS SENDING EMALE ANYWAYS, YUOR SOEM KIND OF CRAZEY MAN OR SOEMTHING??!  OR CURISING FOR A WORALD OF HURT!??! 

SO SHUTs UP AND GO AWAYS NOW I AM BUSEY MAN I HAEV MANEY THINGS TOO DO YTUO GO BACK TOO RUNING YUOR FAGOT HYPARNERDIA SIET AND DONT SENDS ME EMALE NAYMORE

-JEFF K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

PS:  KEEP ME OF YUOR FAGOT MALEING LIST OR yuop entar a worald of pain stupids#

WHAT/?

13.) Your at a self-help seminar, and you notice the girl sitting in front of you has dropped her hair brush, when you reach down to get it for her. . . . you realize the HER is really John Romero. . . NOW WHAT. . .

i pet her like a pretey pony and says "WASH AWAEY THOSE TEARS JOHN, MAEYBE YUO MAEKS A BETTAR GAME NEXT TIEM."

14.) Some people say your not as tough as you think, what do you say to that??

talk too my FISTS#

15.) What’s the deal with your DO?? Hair-do that is??

leav me alone!

16.) You haven’t spoken out about Napster. . . why?? Are you FOR or AGAINST it?

i dont use napstar i use winnuke

17.) I have recently interviewed a famous actor and an Adult Film star, have you ever considered acting???

maeybe I acts liek I like yuor FAGOT SITE!!!1  AHAHAHAHAAAAA IM NOT THAT GOOD OF ACTOR RELLY

And for my last question:

Since we are on the movie star subject, if you were to write/direct/star in your own movie, WHO would be in it, and what would it be about.

me anDN Jerry woulds be in it with ROBOTOS THOATHAT CAPTUREAD TEH WORALD!  preseidents MR> PRESIDENT seais 'SAVE TEH WORLD JEFF"

JEFFK:  OKEY!!! 7777777777777777777777777777777777777777

sand tehn we gos too teh gbuy guns and a BOMB and robots says, "HA HA EARTHLINK, YUOR PLANAT SI MIEN!" but NO NO JERRY SI IN IFIGHGHTAR WARPLAENE!!!! and bombs teh spaceshitp!  adn then a computar viras si onbored but i used teh THROOTAL WHEEEEEW cirsis AVARTED!!!

TEH END

PS:  YUO DIE IN TEH FILM, YUO ARE KILLED BY LONNEYBOY

 wow. what do ya say to that??

I also wanted to point this out too. When I was at E3 this year, I saw an ASSLOAD of these floatin' around, click the pic and find out where to get one yourself.